Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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