your parents love me but you hate me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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