well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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