She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
