I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
