I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize