You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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