Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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