why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
