physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
