The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
