whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
