I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
