I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
