your room smells of hookers.
And success
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
