Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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