Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
