whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
