White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
