My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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