quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
