real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
