Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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