The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
where are you?
Hypothermia
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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