Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
They have beer where we have blood.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
