I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
