The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
