I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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