Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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