I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
