apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
