Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
