I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
