You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize