Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
