and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i dont even know how to be here
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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