i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
pop tarts are not kleenex
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
