that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
