Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
