i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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