is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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