i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
