I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
