I wannas sexs uuuuu
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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