her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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