i don't plan on having that self control this summer
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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