how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
