i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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