she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
