she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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