you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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