the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
