How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I could fuck to npr.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
