Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
