its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
