so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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