Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize