so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
