No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
