she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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