I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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