I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
