Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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