Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
